Unexpected
by Lil Ray Of GloomShine
Summary: Janto Fic. It's Iantos birthday and his family learn something unexpected. First fic. Mild swearing. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Dedicated to Eva,

Even if we aren't the best of friends at the moment.

The doorbell rang, several short sharp blasts punctuated with one long continuous blast. The ringing cut into my train of thought. I groaned loudly, I only knew one person who could skilfully abuse an innocent doorbell like that.

"Hi mam." I said resignedly as I opened the door. I knew why she was here, it was my birthday tomorrow and it was my turn for mam to throw me a party. Lucky me.

"Call all friends, cancel all plans. We've got a party to plan!"

"Don't worry mam. I haven't got any pl-" _Shit!_ Jack was supposed to be coming round. "I do need to call someone though." Mam gave me a look that clearly said 'what are you asking me for. It's your house.' I grabbed the phone and went upstairs into my bedroom for some privacy. Then I called the first number on speed dial.

"Yan!!" Jack squealed and I laughed, he sounded like a two year old.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but, you can't come round tonight. My m-"

"What. Whyyyy? Have you got a new boyfriend? Do you hate me? You hate me don't you? I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true." I could hear Owens laughter in the background.

"I don't hate you Jack."

"Yeah, but you do though. You're lying. All I ever did was love you and you hate me and you're having an affair."

"I'm not h-"

"I love you Yan and you hate me!" By the sound of the laughter in the background Gwen was finding this just as funny as Owen.

"I don't hate you." I said, raising my voice a little, "I love you."

"Don't lie." I could almost hear the pout in Jacks voice, "You've never loved me."

"I do love you. You can't come over because my mam is throwing me a birthday party and she's here tonight."

"Well then that proves it. If you loved me you'd have invited me."

"Why the bloody hell do you think I called you at nine am if not to invite you?"

"To tell me that you hate me and that you quit."

"Nope. Not today."

I heard someone say 'damn' in the background.

"Oi. Shut it Owen." I said, "Everyone is invited to my party tomorrow at eight. Before you ask Gwen, yes that includes Rhys. Oh, and before I forget, I feel I should warn you that, you two, Gwen and Owen are on Decaf for a month."

"What about Jack. He agreed to the prank. That is unfair favouritism."

"Let me finish. Gwen and Owen are on Decaf and Jack, because he should know better, is on instant for a month. And, if anyone makes any comment about me and Jack at my party, everyone is on Decaf for two months."

There was a collective 'WHAT' and a 'Yan don't be mean.'

"Jack, if you act like a child. I will treat you like a child."

"What do you mean?"

"Children don't drink any coffee, even instant."

"I'm not acting like a child. You're the one who's having an affair."

"Four months."

Owen piped up in the background. "Oi, don't blame us cause he's an idiot."

"Okay, you know what. I revoke my invitation. You are all uninvited to my party." I hung up and then jumped as I heard a voice behind me.

"Who's uninvited?" My mam was stood in the doorway.

"My work friends." _And my boyfriend._ I sighed, "But they'll come anyway. Invited or not."

As we were walking down the stairs, I realised something.

"Oh mam. I've just realised I've got work tomorrow."

"Can you get out of it?"

"Maybe….."

"Are you one of your boss's favourites?"

"What?!?" I said, startled. _Does she know something?_

"Does your boss like you?"

"I think so." _I know so. I bloody well hope so._

**A/N: Okay that's Chapter One. There will be three chaps in all. I have it all written. I just need to type it up. I hope you all like it. I know my characters are OOC and also the bit where Jack was being weird was a prank.**

**E x**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Next Morning

"Mam, I know you wanted me to take the whole day off but I need to go in for the morning at least. I'll be home by half one at the latest."  
I handed her my key. I would have given her the spare but Jack had that. I gave it to him when I got bored of him barging in whenever he liked.  
"Okay, but I did want to spend the day with you."  
"I know. I'm sorry."  
I turned to leave.  
"Ianto, please remember that the rest of our family are homophobes. Maybe you should call your boyfriend and tell him not to come."  
WHAT! Crap crap crappy crap crap crap!  
"What!?!?!?! How did you know?"  
"I'm your mam Cariad. I know everything."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

At the hub

As soon as I stepped through the cog door something tall, warm, muscular and well completely gorgeous slammed into me. I took a deep breath, inhaling his wonderful 51st century pheromones. It seemed like the embrace lasted for minutes but it was only seconds before Owen made his entrance.  
"Ewwwww, boys. Get a room." He was dramatically covering his eyes.  
"No." Jack said plainly. "'cause Yan's family are homophobes, and it's his birthday, and I can't do this at the party."  
When he said 'this' he lifted my feet off the ground and hugged me to him like a child would clutch a teddy.  
"Jaaaaaaack." I protested, "I'm not a toy."  
"Are you sure?" He said flirtatiously.

I laughed and tried to wriggle out of his arms but he squeezed harder and morphed into five year old Jack.

"Nevaaaaaaaaa!" he screeched. Owen sighed, shook his head and sat down at his desk.

"Fine then, but if I'm stuck here I can't make coffee."

"I can live without coffee." Jack said, pulling me closer. I swear I have never seen Owen move so fast.

"I bloody well can't!" He cried. Suddenly Gwen and Tosh appeared out of nowhere and together the three of them pulled open his arms. I slipped out from underneath and walked to a safe distance, straightening my suit jacket.

"Run, Teaboy, run!" Owen yelled.

"Yeah Ianto, run to the kitchen!" Gwen and Tosh chorused.

"Mature guys." Jack said, pulling his arms out of their grip. He started to walk towards his office, and then he turned and charged towards me. Pulling me along with him he leapt onto the invisible lift. He let go of me to remotely activate the lift. Using my hand I signalled to Owen and the others, so that Jack couldn't see, counting down from five. When I got down to zero I jumped off the lift, landing neatly on the floor, bending my knees to absorb the impact. Tosh tripled the lift's speed, Owen was waiting for the lift to reach the plass and when it did he jammed it so that Jacks vortex manipulator wouldn't be able to reopen it. Meanwhile I ran to the archive to hide and Gwen set up decoys which made it look like I was hiding in all sorts of ridiculous places. My personal favourite was the blanket under Jack's desk with the pillows underneath and the shoe sticking out to make it look like I was hiding underneath. I was hiding in one of the blind spots of the archives. I sat down and listened through my comm unit. I heard snippets of conversations and then a roar, "WHERE'S MY IANTO." I blushed. His Ianto. Apparently Owen was thinking the same thing. "Oh, so he's YOUR Ianto now is he?" Jack stammered something inaudible.

Tosh giggled, "Aww, look you've made him blush!" No way. Jack never blushes.

"I DON'T BLUSH!!" Jack screamed. I mean literally screamed!

Tosh laughed, "Of course, you're just naturally pink." Gwen laughed hysterically.

Jack tried a different method, squealing. "Where is heeeeeee."

"Who?" Owen asked, his face a picture of innocence.

"IANTO!"

I had an idea and pressed a finger to my comm.

"Yes sir?" I said, thickening my accent and lowering my voice.

"Yaaan, where are you?" His voice softened, "Please tell me."

"Why would I do that? Spoil the fun, that would. Why don't you come find me?"

I wondered if I was having the desired effect.

"I can think of something more fun that we could be doing." He said suggestively. I could hear a chorus of 'Eeeews' in the background.

"Well, I am rather enjoying this, sir." I said, offhandedly, "Hiding is much more fun when you're naked." Yes, that did it, Jack just groaned.

"Fine, I'll give you a hint." He grunted. I lowered my voice to conspiratorial whisper, "I'm in the vaults."

I switched channels, "Owen, tell me when he's gone."

"He's already sprinted off." I walked up to the main area. When I reached it, I noticed Gwen and Owen stood by the Cog Door. "We're off on a rift alert, nothing big, probably a weevil. I know I'll probably regret this but, what did you say to reduce Jack to grunts, moans and loss of speech?"

"Easy." I said as if it were obvious, "I told him I was naked."

"But you weren't?" Gwen asked.

"You catch on fast."

They left and I went to my desk and set the CCTV to follow Jack whilst I made Tosh and myself a coffee. I leant back against the wall, cradling my cup, watching Jack kick down the doors of all unoccupied cells looking for me.

"Why's he making such a fuss over me?" I thought out loud. Tosh answered me anyway. "Obviously he thinks you're worth making a fuss over." She settled next to me and we spent a few minutes in companionable silence.

"Umm… Ianto." I looked around at Tosh. "If Jack is searching almost every cell. How many cells on one level?"

"Fifty." I replied automatically.

"And how many levels?"

"23." I said. "Hang on, that's… One thousand, one hundred and fifty cells. That's going to take hours."

We both started to laugh.

2hrs and 30 minutes later

The team and I were playing cheat, sat around Tosh's desk when Jack stormed in and yelled, "Alright, where is he?" I leaned out so that he could see me.

"Who sir?" I didn't even hear his reply. I was distracted by the grin on his face. I stood up and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Aww, boss man's found his Teaboy." Owen teased.

"Yep. I've found MY Teaboy." Jack grinned. I blushed and wriggled deeper into Jacks arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Party

"Jack, where the hell are you?" I tried to keep my voice level.

"I'm on my way, keep calm and try not to shoot anyone." He joked.

"Just get here and remember; you aren't my boyfriend, you're my boss." I reminded him.

"I know, I know." He replied, acting patronised, "Now open the door." I walked over and pulled on the catch. The door opened to reveal the smiling faces of Jack, Tosh, Gwen and Rhys and the scowling face of Owen.

"Finally." I said, only just stopping myself collapsing against Jack. I gave each of my colleagues a drink and we walked into the living room where I introduced them all, "Okay everyone, this is Captain Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Rhys Williams, Toshiko Sato and Owen Harper."

Owen was quick to correct me, "_Doctor_ Owen Harper, thank you."

A muttered chorus of "Shut _up_ Owen." could be heard from the Torchwood team. I decided that my safest bet would be to avoid Jack as much as I could. I wandered into the kitchen and Mam followed me in, "I knew you had a boyfriend Yan but dating your boss? Are you sure that's wise?"

I slammed the bottle of water I had been about to drink from onto the work surface and span on the spot. "Okay seriously? How can you know that?"

"Well firstly when he came in you sort of gravitated towards him, secondly your eyes lit up and you smiled as you said his name and thirdly I'm your Mam Ianto, I know these things. Do I need to go on?" I just looked at her, completely gobsmacked. "Does anyone else know?"

"No and to be honest I would keep it that way." I nodded.

"Ianto." I heard Jack's voice and my heart skipped a beat as I strode back into the living room, Jack was the centre of attention and telling some kind of story with massive hand gestures. "Yeah, and Ianto is the only one who can feed her. She doesn't like the rest of us."

My sister turned to me as she saw me enter, "Ianto, I never knew you had an office pet."

"Yeah well he's not a very good pet. He always pees in the corners and eats lab coats so we don't like to brag about him."

"He? I though Jack said Myfanwy was a girl." Rhiannon looked between Jack and Ianto confusedly.

"Oh were we talking about Myfanwy?" I feigned a revelation, "I was talking about Owen."

There was a chorus of laughter whilst Owen directed a glare that could have cut through diamonds at me. I just smiled charmingly.

Mam called us all to dinner and managed to get me sat, suspiciously, next to Jack. I scowled at Mam but she just smiled, I was muttering angrily in welsh under my breath when Tad came in. Tad was notorious for being late to everything so none but the Torchwood team reacted to his arrival. He took his seat next to Mam and looked at me curiously, "Who are the new faces?" I named each of my colleagues, still scowling.

"What's wrong with you Ianto?" One of my uncles questioned, "Didn't you get what you wanted?"

"I haven't even opened my presents yet." I snapped, immediately regretting it as Owen sniggered.

"Is that why you're all cross?" He asked, as if he was talking to a sulky three year old. So I kicked him.

"Owww," he whined, "You have anger management issues. You need a punching bag or something."

"Oh Owen," I smiled sweetly, "Why would I need a punching bag when I have you?" I emphasised the word 'you' with another kick.

"I know, you should talk to Janet. She is a wonderful listener." Everyone was watching us make a spectacle out of ourselves and Mam piped up, trying to regain control of the conversations, "Who's Janet then? A girlfriend?"

The Torchwood team, plus Rhys, struggled not to laugh and Jack, always unable to avoid an obvious joke, spoke up and pushed us all over the brink into fits of laughter, "She could be. Who knows what Owen gets up to when we're not around."

When we'd calmed down a little and kept eating everyone made small talk. Jack finished first and was trying to sneak bits of food off of my plate and I elbowed him and glared hoping that he'd realise how 'coupley' he was acting. He seemed to get the hint because he switched targets to Gwen who was sat on his other side.

"Jack, stop it!" She reprimanded loudly. Everyone turned and stared.

"Just ignore him. He has personal boundary problems." I said. Jack gave me a hurt look which I pretended to ignore but under the table I reached across and squeezed his hand. We sat like that for the rest of dinner until Mam said those fateful four words.

"Let's play a game." Jack squealed like a little girl.

"I HAVE AN AMAZING GAME!" He yelled, voice an octave higher than it should be. "Spin the bottle!"

"No!" I almost yelled, "Jack I am related to all but five of the people in this room." His face fell but only for a second before, "Str-"

"No!"

"Hi-"

"No!

"Pin the-"

"Still no!"

"Twister?"

"Oh no way, I hate twister." Owen groaned.

"Owen you only hate twister 'cause you're awful at it." Tosh reasoned.

"I would be willing to play if a certain person," He glared at Ianto, "didn't cheat."

"I do not cheat. Some people are just more flexible than others." I retorted.

"Yes, we know. You should take up gymnastics." Gwen muttered, barely audible.

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Now there's a thought. Leotards. Uniform change. Effective tomorrow." Jack spoke quietly enough that only the team heard.

Mam interrupted our little gathering with a smile, "We thought that twister sounded like fun so we've set it up. Are you playing?"

37 games later and Jack and I were the undefeated champions, 37 games to none. No, wait- I lie. 36 games to one. In one game Jack sneezed and everyone except Gwen toppled over. The rest of the night passed in a blur as my more elderly relatives left and everyone else dove into the vodka.

The Aftermath

I woke the next morning with a banging headache and a familiar smell overloading my senses. Wait… I knew that smell…but where from? I moved slightly and felt more than heard a groan from beneath me. That's when I realised what the smell was. Fifty-first century pheromones. "Love you Yan." Came Jack's voice- muffled with sleep.

Forgetting where I was I replied softly, "Love you too Jack." I snuggled into him.

"Damn it." Tosh swore and Jack and I both froze.

Owen's familiar laugh rang out, "I _told_ you they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Now hand it over. Those two just won me sixty quid."

"Ianto, what the hell is this?" Tad's voice was unusually calm. I sat up quickly, dislodging Jack's hand from up my shirt. He let out a sleepy groan and pulled me back into his chest, wrapping me in a vice-like grip. I gave in and settled back to sleep. I'd deal with my homophobic family in the morning, right now I was happy.

I had my Jack.

"Jack, stop trying to molest me."

-END-

**A/N: I literally lost all faith in this story but as there was only one chapter left I had to finish it. I know the wait has been unforgivably long but a few reviews would be amazing. :D**

**Jenny x**


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